Dr. Dobb's Journal March 1998
This month, I review two software releases, a CD-ROM, and a legal strategy:
All versions of the Windows graphical user interface from Microsoft are PC versions, but two recently offered versions are PC in a new sense -- they're politically correct.
Windows Lite has all the elements of Internet Explorer stripped out to make it compliant with Judge Jackson's order to Microsoft not to force OEMs to accept Explorer if they want Windows. Windows Classic, also offered in compliance with the court order, is a two-year old version of the GUI.
Features: Low marks for both. Internet access really ought to be integrated into any OS or GUI.
Performance: Classic gets an Adequate here; Lite rates Below Average, since it doesn't boot. However, this has led to an increase in the punctuality of mail sorting here at Stately Swaine Manor, due to the inability of the mailroom staff, on whose machine we installed this version, to play computer games all morning.
Ease of use: For Classic, Adequate. For Lite, Not Applicable, since it doesn't boot.
Documentation: For both, Excellent. Perfectly captures the spirit of adequacy that pervades the product. The failure to boot is clearly covered in a tech note included with the Lite version.
Executive Summary: Why do I say they're PC? Because Microsoft chose not to discriminate against old and crippled (I mean senior and functionally challenged) software. Three cheers!
Rating: Four dingbats each.
This is a huge book, a monumental book, or would be if it weren't a CD-ROM. The only way to review a work of this almost encyclopedic breadth (and length) is to see what it says about a subject you know something about. I know something about Bill Gates.
According to The New Yorker, "after Microsoft bought the Funk & Wagnalls encyclopedia and turned it into...Encarta...the entry on Bill Gates changed." The clause "known as a tough competitor who seems to value winning in a competitive environment over money" was changed to read, "known for his personal and corporate contributions to charity and educational organizations."
Features: Filters block access to questionable topics like antitrust law.
Performance: Slow. It took way too long to make that change in the Gates entry.
Ease of use: Haven't used it.
Documentation: Okay, if you get The New Yorker.
Executive Summary: Even Bill's wife and child wouldn't say he was known for his charitable contributions. Well, I don't think they would. Let's call and check. One ringy-dingy, two ringy- "Oh, hi. This is Mike Swaine of Dr. Dobb's Journal and I was just wondering if you would say that Bill was known for his charitable contributions. Uh-huh. A cheap skinflint, you say? Really. And how about mommy, does she feel that way too? Uh-huh. Okay, bye-bye."
Rating: Two and a half dingbats.
I think that when a company hires a corporate attorney named "Nuke 'em," it is making a statement about the strategies it will consider in its future legal dealings.
Features: Suits and other legal actions against the company from other software vendors, the U.S. Federal government, nine States, and the European Union.
Performance: Microsoft has managed to annoy or enrage the U.S. Justice Department, the judge trying its case, its OEM partners, the press, and the rest of the software industry.
Ease of use: Spitting in the face of a Federal judge who holds the company's future in his hands probably makes that judge's job a little easier for him.
Documentation: Tons of it. Whoever first called these documents briefs had a fine sense of irony.
Executive Summary: An excellent strategy if you value winning in a competitive environment over money. Most stockholders prefer money.
Rating: At least three dingbats.
--Michael Swaine