I hadn't talked with my Cousin Corbett recently, so I was mildly surprised to get an e-mail message from him. Looking at the subject line, I was even more surprised. It read:Express Yourself with a Vanity Home Page!
As I read through the message it became clear that this was no cousinly note, but rather a press release on some sort of business. Apparently I was on Corbett's press-contacts list. I decided to get to the bottom of this.
When I dialed his number, an unfamiliar voice answered, and I found myself running a gauntlet of strangers before finally getting through to the man himself.
"Corbett, what's this Vanity Home Page garbage?"
He seemed to have trouble recognizing my voice at first, which annoyed me no end.
"Oh, Mike. Always good to hear from you. What can I do for you this morning?"
"What's this Vanity Home Page garbage?"
"Why, that's our new business, Personal Web Presentations, Inc. Basically, it's a consulting service for people who want to create their own personal Web pages. Our slogan is 'Express Yourself with a Vanity Home Page!'"
"Yeah, I've seen the press release. Who needs that kind of service?"
"Everybody. We help design pages, explain hooks, teach writing in the area of self-expression, the whole package."
"Hooks?"
"Sure. Because home pages don't go out looking for readers, you need a clever name to pull them in. The Awesome List. The Last Homely House. Ask Kato. MUDslinger. Swaine's World. XXX Rated. Free Money. It also helps if you can get other people to put links to your page on their pages. We help with that. Then once readers have linked to your page, you need nifty graphics and other sugar to keep them interested."
He was going to continue, but I interrupted. "Yeah, but who needs this stuff? Why would anybody pay for your services?"
"A lot of our customers are looking for better jobs. We help them design electronic r'esum'es. We're looking into VRML, to design r'esum'es with attract mode."
"Slow down, I'm writing this down. VRML, that's a proposed markup language for creating Web pages that are virtual-reality environments. Attract mode, if I remember right, is the mode video games are in when you're not playing them?"
"Right. But the real opportunity is more than a market--it's a mission. We're involved in nothing less than a rekindling of the art of personal writing. Letter writing has virtually died, although it has enjoyed a small rebirth in e-mail. Writing instructors kept the journal or diary form alive. Now the Web is bubbling over with autobiographies and diaries."
"And the Web is an appropriate place for that?" I asked.
"Yes. It's the hypertext links that make it so interesting. You can enrich your own essays by incorporating links to deep thoughts of Shakespeare or Newt Gingrich that you subscribe to."
"Sort of an alternative to thinking: links for dittoheads."
"I like that," he said. "Let me write it down."
He had another angle to share with me: "Interlaced GIFs are really hot now. By bringing the image in gradually, with increasing resolution, they produce an interesting, revealing effect, a kind of striptease. One of my clients has a very interesting home page where she--"
Just then he got interrupted and said he'd call me back. I haven't heard from him since. But I see more personal home pages every day.
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MikeSwaine@eworld.com
Copyright © 1995, Dr. Dobb's Journal